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Sunday, October 15, 2006

I Miss You

When the night closes all the windows, and turns off all the human lights, I become again the same lonely person…
Keeping away all the dreams is just a dream…
My head is full again of scenes… of times… of ideas…
Almost everything is about you…
I turn the light off by myself… nearly nothing is visible for a while, and then I start to see in the darkness…
It is your photo placed there…
Just one photo… but through it I see thousands…
Every moment we spent together… every smile… and especially every tear…
In the silence, I close my eyes to feel again and again their effect on me…
My body shakes slightly…
There is something I need to live… and I need it back…
I feel you are behind the door… thinking of me… of us…
I put my hands in the pockets… there are no keys…
I stand up… run hurry to hit the block… but no way…
My body is aching…
My heart too…
I hear your voice again from behind it… I hear your tears touching the soil…
I want to cross it to release us…
I love you so much… I love the person you are… I love your heart…
I don’t want you to cry… this makes me a mad man…
I promised I’m a reason for your eternal smile…
My body shakes again… I need you…
I don’t want to cry myself…
I try not to do it…
I believe…
I understand…
I found it…
To open this door is so easy… I will pray as much as I miss you…

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Yearning...

SAMA Photography

How could my legs walk? I hope I have no legs…
How could my brain give this order? I hope I have no brain…
How my heart could support this act? I hope I have no heart…
How could I? How could I?
How could I?
I wrote death on my life pages…
I left my freedom to come back into this little prison…
I left our smile to be flooded by tears…
I left the spring to live again the winter…
I left the warmth to be killed by coldness…

What do we feel?!
What do we mean?!
What do we say?!

I’m yearning for our union…
What happened is no more acceptable…
God’s will… This door will never close again…

We couldn’t fish the sun that day… she is lost in the sea…
But she will raise again my love, and she will never leave until we leave…


Monday, October 09, 2006

Ah Ya Albi

I walk away and search for your hand, for your arm to cling on to.
I can't believe what we just did.
I feel almost paralysed.
Everything I do, reminds me of you.
I walk to my desk, and I see you there, reading the latest news, uploading and admiring your photos.
I walk to my room, and smell the pillow your head laid opon, the sheets your body slept on.
Baby, you smell so beautiful.
I hug your pillow and wait to feel your kiss on my forehead, for you to play with my hair...
And suddenly remember it is just a pillow.
I lay there all night, reminiscing, praying, yearning...
There is no difference between day and night.
Hours pass and 8am comes.
I wait for you to come wake me.
I wait for your sweet kiss.
I walk from my room to your room.
"Habibi..."
No answer.
I come to have breakfast.
Mum puts me some hlawet el jibn...
"Sassine likes that" I say.
Food has lost it's taste.
I get my things ready to go to uni, and stumble across the shells we collected that sweet day at the beach.
I remember the rock you reminded me about and run to the jacket.
I smell the bonfire and cannot get enough.
I look in the pockets and find the beanie you wore...
The funny blue and black one with the pompom.
I get dressed and spray Kenzo...
You liked that.
I come across the 'magic powder'...
The one I carried around with the brush everywhere.
I don't need it today.
I get in the car, and it's, you guessed it, Tony Kiwan.
I put on your favourite station.
It doesn't sound the same without holding hands.
On the train I spot two lovers.
Neyaloun.
I fondle for my sunnies and hope that no-one can see through them.
The 35 minute train ride feels like 35 hours.
I make my way to uni.
I don't want to catch the tram, and though time is not permitting, I walk up to uni, along the road we both walked along.
I sit on the bench you waited for me on.
I walk into my lecture and my friend says to me "how are you?"
I choke on my words.
She hugs me, but all I feel is you.
I call your mobile, I know you cannot answer, you are still on the plane, but I still wait for you to pick up.
"Habibi?... Habibi?"
I wear my pyjamas, and put on your slippers.
It's only 3pm, but feels like 3 weeks since you left.
I sort out the papers on my desk and come across the CD you burned for me.
I hope one day I can view these photos.
Right now, I am not game enough.
"Sasso?... Habibi?"
Redd 3allayi.
Please come back...
And never EVER leave me again.

Friday, June 23, 2006

I Love You

Our Prayer

We are looking at you our beautiful God,
we are just amazed by you, by your love to us, to everyone on this earth...
oh dear God!
We love you so much, for everything you offered for us & for everything you are offering...
We can feel and we know that without you, our pains didnt turn into flowers... our sadness
into happiness... every missing moment a power to our love...
This love that you created, and you stay alert to conserve it.
Thank you our love... you are our love God... and we are nothing without you...
We love you so so much
Please strengthen us! & help us to see the positive from everything...
When we feel doubtful, strengthen your opinion into us...
Amen

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Special Moments


Between Trees, Aadbel
Lebanese Sunsets Album
This picture has a special impact on me. When I see it, a thousand emotions embrace me. Happiness, sadness, hope, intense longing, nostalgia...
This is one of the romantic nights i passed with you, thinking of you on this peaceful mountain. It is yes so meaningfull.
I remember in it God staying between the trees without burning them;
I see the power of this silent moment.
I see also trees sad in black saying goodbye to the sun while hugging it.
I see the sun saying i'm coming tomorrow, dont cry, i will come again and there will be no more darkness, just wait.
I see the peace going ahead to sleep in the sea.
I see the sun leaving my side to illuminate your's, so we are the one that live always in the day.
I see you, how? by every lovely scene surrounding my life. but you are still the most beautiful, and thats why i miss you so much...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Only You

When all I think about...
Is you
When all I want...
Is you
When all I breathe...
Is you
When all I need...
Is you
How can I tame my heart?

I miss you Habibi so much
And yearn to be with you.

It seems like such a distant dream...

Friday, May 05, 2006

Amazing

Photo By Webshots
Isn't really amazing?
When half of us is in the darkness, the other is in the light...
When half of us is in the winter, the other is in summer...
When half of us is sleeping, the other is awake...
Yes, we are from the north, the south...
But we are one in God, running in his majesty...
As the whole earth is running around the sun to accomplish the life...

Friday, April 28, 2006

So Precious...


All we need is each other…
We miss us so much… we are so far while so close…
Yes! Our heart is sad while he is full of love …

I want you to be happy… you want me to be happy…
To see a smile on our face, we are ready to leave everything…
But still, this smile is so far…
The days are walking slowly, as if their happiness is in others suffer…
Ah! They walk very slowly… We feel them stopping even…
Yes! Blocking us…
All this is tolerable till now… even barely…
But what we cannot support really is our tears…
Ah! We must stop them, because they are so precious…

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Until We Meet Again...

She begins to wake the sleeping sky.
When she reaches out, the ocean responds.
She moves closer and closer to him.
He caresses her.
Simultaneously, she bows her head, chin to chest.
Her arms fall to her sides.
She sinks to her knees.
In one motion.
I watch, anticipate, wait for her next move.
She rises almost magically, and greets the incoming breeze.
They all begin to dance, oh-so-blissfully.
She turns and waves.

It is so beautiful, so captivating, the sun's arrival, when it breaks the surface of the ocean.

Feeling her warmth, I step forward, and imprint the warming sand.
When I look up, they are still dancing, waltzing, with so much passion.
They sway and spin, whirl and swing, to the music they create with the ocean.
Their level of elation, their contentment, is a striking contrast...
A striking contrast of what I witness later when I welcome the night.

Until they meet again...

Until we meet again...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Hearts...


One Day, One Life…

When I was looking for the light, it was so far…
I lived in pain & loneliness, but something was blocked…
Always away… even that I wanted it everyday…
No one response… no one word…
Just away… till I felt I’m born to be lonely…
Yes, I said that… even that I always believed in the spring...
I don’t hide that I love all the seasons… but the one who has a powerful effect on me was you spring…
You came one day, one year with the light I waited for years and years…
It’s not something to remember or not to remember…
It’s something to live with forever… It’s something you cannot live without…
Isn’t strange that our spring started with the spring…
Isn’t strange that our spring don’t end in three months…
I feel it so strange and beautiful…
Yes, what I know is that my garden is always flowering… even if she is having everyday different colors…

Sassine El Nabbout